Well, to be hon­est, not of alco­hol, but rather of “good friends” ))
Any­way, in order not to get in such sit­u­a­tions that will make you very ashamed after­wards, one should know their lim­its and don’t get drunk that much.

Like:
10% of the world’s pop­u­la­tion is left-handed.

Eisteddfod is an annual meet­ing of Welsh poets and musi­cians for competitions.

SCUBA stands for Self Con­tained Under­wa­ter Breath­ing Apparatus.

On aver­age, we spend 5 years wait­ing in line for var­i­ous rea­sons. (Thanks to Jenn for that!)

Like:
Din­ner Spe­cial — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Chil­dren $2.00

For sale: antique desk suit­able for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

We do not tear your cloth­ing with machin­ery. We do it care­fully by hand.

Hand­made gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. 

1. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incred­i­ble urge to plant you right here!

2. Roses are red, vio­lets are blue, I like spaghetti, let’s go screw

3. Just call me milk, I’ll do your body good

4. Your body’s name must be visa, because it’s every­where I want to be

Funny Old Age Quotes — Funny Quotes about Old Age
Old age isn’t so bad when you con­sider the alter­na­tive.
More funny Mau­rice Cheva­lier quotes
*** Age–that period of life in which we com­pound for the vices that we still cher­ish by revil­ing those that we no longer have the enter­prise to com­mit.
More funny …

I’m so old they’ve can­celled my blood type.
Bob Hope

As you get older three things hap­pen. The first is your mem­ory goes, and I can’t remem­ber the other two…
Sir Nor­man Wisdom

Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon…smart too late.
Mike Tyson